How many emotions can you name when you experience them?
Brene Brown, famous author and researcher, found the average answer to this question was three. Yet, our experiences are much more complex. You’ve heard the phrase “Name it to tame it,” a phrase often used in therapy to emphasize the importance of identifying and labeling emotions or thoughts.
Emotional literacy is the idea is that by naming what you’re feeling or experiencing, you can gain more control over those feelings and reduce their intensity. And yet, there is so much confusion about what is acceptable to feel or show. Taking the time to put words, images, and stories to our experiences is what defines not only who we are but also when, where, and why we are.
As a parent of an adolescent, it’s even more difficult to know what’s going on with them. Unless they tell someone who shares it with us, we may only see the façade that says, “I know it all.” Plus, we’re busy teaching them life skills, hoping they will be independent enough to manage on their own by the time they’re 25. Things like driver’s education and getting their first job may become the focus.
Emotional Literacy begins with knowing yourself.
Being able to say, “I feel irritated by a particular situation,” for example, reduces the temperature so the emotion doesn’t escalate into a full-blown explosion aimed at someone who has nothing to do with it. Dealing with difficult emotions such as grief and fear prepares us to also foster curiosity for calmness, compassion, and joyfulness.
When you think about your own time during adolescence, this may bring you closer to your teen or backfire with them telling you you don’t know what it’s like to be them. And perhaps this is true to a certain extent. However, the universal nature of being human is that we are all playful, learning beings. We all experience pain, we are all seeking happiness, we are all trying to avoid suffering, and we are all learning about life
Today, we have resources in technology which can support self-esteem and a love for life. The arts have always used technology. See Penn Jillette’s movie: Tim’s Vermeer. If your teen has the privilege of having an iPad, why not have them use it for Digital Art Therapy? The ability to edit and redo provides one of many metaphors for development. And that’s the point: to provide choice as an antidote for having to do what everyone else is doing.
Art therapy, when used in a way that accesses individual preferences and draws from the full range of creative potential, is an effective resource for supporting teens in developing emotional literacy.
Consistent participation in art therapy produces a collection of artwork. Over time, reviewing this collection provides an opportunity to address the key components of emotional literacy:
- Recognition: Acknowledge what you’re feeling. This can be difficult because emotions are sometimes complex and hard to pinpoint. The various layers of a piece of art and the materials used in its creation, with the support of an art therapist, helps us sort through the complexity.
- Labeling: Put a name to the emotion. For example, instead of saying “I’m feeling bad,” we might coach our teens to say “I’m feeling anxious” or “I’m feeling sad.”
- Processing: Once you have named the emotion, you can start to understand it better. This might involve exploring why you feel this way and what triggers these feelings.
- Management: With better understanding, you can begin to manage the emotion more effectively. This might involve using coping strategies, changing your perspective, or seeking support.
Art therapy is an enjoyable way for teens to explore who the emerging adult they are becoming. By integrating the arts into their lives in a way that supports their mental health, they will set themselves up for greater confidence and self esteem. By gaining tools for emotional literacy, they will learn to look at things from different perspectives. Perhaps, as the creator of their own canvas, they will learn to set a positive tone to start each day.
An experienced Art Therapist is waiting to talk to you. Contact us today!
-Amber Dalzell, LCPC, ATR-BC, ATCS
Owner and Director of Art of the Matter
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